I dunno wat am i doin recently... its all like fallin all over mi in a sudden.... i keep on repeat to myself tat I CAN DO IT!! I CAN DO IT.... but maybe if its the old energetic mi... i dun think there will be a problem... but NOW... i dun dare to say... i have suddenly lose all my energy and smile to stress.... i might be too pessimistic or crazy havin the thot tat maybe JY might fall down the stairs today and cant come tml... so i have more time to organise myself.... ok I NOE I AM MAD.... but seriously now i dun have to ability to bring myself together anymore... erm i noe i m on the verge of breaking down but i m controllin... doin my best to keep things on the track and get things done by deadline.....
its ironic tat i m askin my committees to buck up and have good morale and mi as the chairperson is not havin enough confident to even think tat tml event will turn out well... i dun wan ppl to feel dissapointed with MY EVENT!!! and i dun wish to find excuses to the problems... i wanna face them but i doubt i could.... i am seriously feelin hard to breathe with all this piling stress... but i wan this event to turn out well so badly...... its not tat anythin is wrong with my committee... its juz mi... erm probably its the first time.... I NEED TO LEARN TO COPE WITH STRESS.... I MUZ BELIEVE I CAN!!!!
i now am thinkin whether i am even fit to do such events or not... seriously doubtin my capibilities...i dunno wat i was doin.... am i even leadin a meaningful life??... is this kind of life wat i wan?? did i harm anybody with my actions?? or others juz dun give a damn to mi??
Ok i feel myself bein stupid to get involve in ur problems when mi myself is tryin hard to cope with my own... i cherish all my friends i dun wann anything bad to happen to any of u.... i dun wan our relationship to turn sour.... i JUZ wan u to be HAPPIE.. so simple to ssay but so hard to fullfil... i noe its impossible for us but i reallie juz wanna be UR LISTENIN EAR.... am i slappin my own face when i wanna be ur listenin ear but i hate to hear how happie u 2 r... I MUZ BE OUT OF MY MIND.....
I Juz cant stand ppl who onli order others to do smth yet she herself juz use eye power... WTF.... i m reallie fine if u can be honest with mi and not tellin mi last min to do this do tat.... its reallie irritatiin to do last min work u noe...
and to the one who have taken my camera... i m seriously willin to forgive u if u r willin to apologise and return my camera to mi.... i wont even mind if u brin to a corner to admit... i juz wan u to noe tat if u didnt did it in purpose... we wont look down on u or despise u... its juz tat u need to change and we r all willin to help u....and i wan u to noe the importance of tat camera to mi... there r a lot of memory in that camera which i truely cherish and reallie wan them... and it is the first thing i bought for myself using the first pay i earn aft 1 mth of reallie hardwork... i sincerely hope tat u can give it back to mi ... and i can assure u tat i will not tell any 1... i juz wan my camera back... its reallie important to mi... and i do not wan to accuse any 1 but i reallie cherish u as a friend therefore i state it here....it doesnt matter why u took my camera, wat it matters is u r willin to change....i reallie dun wanna spoil any friendship with anybody but i reallie need tat camera.... Pls give it back to mi.
if any of u are bein scare by this post... i am tellin u tat i m fine.... i juz need a channel to express my anger and stress... so tat i can have my smile back... TO STRESS... I WILL MAKE SURE I GET ALL MY ENERGY AND SMILE BACK FROM U.....
